Confession time. My logging for last week stopped on Wednesday. It wasn't really a conscious choice, and at first, I wasn't sure why. But it just occurred to me that I had a couple of fairly stressful events around that time. They are not valid excuses, but do give me some insight into why I might have fallen off the logging wagon.
First, on Tuesday, I was out jogging with my dog Katy, a medium sized mutt. We had barely started running when a loose Boxer approached us. I thought things were going to be OK and they were going to be friends, but then another Boxer came tearing towards us and immediately jumped on Katy. He was twice her size and the fight was no match. A man out in the yard thankfully ran over and pulled him off of Katy fairly quickly. I checked her over quickly, and thought she had emerged unscathed. Then, the next day (Wednesday), I found a nasty looking gash on her neck/chest area.
It was somewhat obsured by her fur at the time, but I still can't believe I missed it. So off to the vet for antibiotics. It was already slightly infected so they didn't want to sew it up. Think she'll be OK, and the boxers' owner has agreed to pay the vet bills. But it was obviously upsetting, and also emotionally difficult to summon up the courage to confront the owners about the vet bills since I didn't discover the wound immediately.
Second stressful event was that hubby and I had agreed that I would look for some part-time accounting work since pet sitting is really slow this time of year. This is hard because it sort of feels like I'm giving up on pet sitting, even though I know that doesn't have to be true. At bible study on Wednesday, I mentioned that as I was chatting with my discussion leader after class. She then suggested I meet the Finance Director at the church as they had a need for someone on a part-time basis to analyze stats, giving trends, etc. We discussed the opportunity and I told her I'd consider it. It was totally out of the blue, and I had to do some serious praying and soul searching to see if that was something I should pursue. Although I have seen lots of confidential financial info in my career and learned not to let it impact my attitude, I have not done so for a church. I'm not a member of this church, just go to a ladies' bible study there. Although it did not shake my faith in Christ, my previous church had a serious financial scandal that rocked my confidence in churches being good stewards. Giving is an area of challenge for me right now, and I've always hated the constant touting of membership numbers etc. that is prevalent in many churches. So I opted not to pursue that job.
Meanwhile, back to the point of this post. It would seem that spiritual and emotional struggles impact my staying on track with logging. I had plenty of time to enter everything in my log, but apparently I am still really struggling deep down with not spending too much emotional energy in facing those numbers on a daily basis. I thought I was cool and analytical about it, but there is more to it than that.
At any rate, what I DID learn is that NOT logging also has an impact, and it's not so good. Even though I didn't log, I did go back and catch up on entering my BG's to see the overall trends. See the week 4 numbers below.
Avg BG -- 171 (wk1), 161 (wk2), 140 (wk3), 156 (wk4)
Normal Range -- 25%, 43%, 40%, 34%
High -- 64%, 49%, 40%, 56%
Low -- 11%, 8%, 20%, 10%
Average Daily Standard Deviation -- 64, 65, 62, 55
Monday, January 28, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
Log Blog Update
I'm proud to say that I have completed my third week of logging after a lengthy vacation from recording any D related numbers. Acutally, it was more like a sabatical since the time span was measured in years, not days. So remind me, how long does it take for a habit to become ingrained? Am I getting close?
It would seem that just by virtue of putting it all down in the spreadsheet, my control has gotten a wee bit better. But as with other aspects of D, even that picture is not clear. The first couple of weeks I was battling the cold virus that kept on giving, and my exercise level was below my norm. The third week was closer to a normal week in that regard, but came with its own hormonal challenges. Nightime went from being my worst time period, to my best time period. I do see some consistency in a spike after breakfast, so will try a little bigger boluses to see if that helps there.
Avg BG -- 171 (wk1), 161 (wk2), 140 (wk3)
% Normal Range -- 25%, 43%, 40%
% High -- 64%, 49%, 40%
% Low -- 11%, 8%, 20%
Average Daily Standard Deviation -- 64, 65, 62
Weight watchers has got it goin' on in terms of group support and accountability. When you're struggling, you can show your food log to your leader, and he/she will give you some pointers re: drinking more water, eating all your points, low point snacks, etc. Wouldn't it be cool if we could have group meetings like that....maybe something called "Glucose Watchers"? Fortunately, we have each other here in cyberspace, and for that I am very grateful.
It would seem that just by virtue of putting it all down in the spreadsheet, my control has gotten a wee bit better. But as with other aspects of D, even that picture is not clear. The first couple of weeks I was battling the cold virus that kept on giving, and my exercise level was below my norm. The third week was closer to a normal week in that regard, but came with its own hormonal challenges. Nightime went from being my worst time period, to my best time period. I do see some consistency in a spike after breakfast, so will try a little bigger boluses to see if that helps there.
Avg BG -- 171 (wk1), 161 (wk2), 140 (wk3)
% Normal Range -- 25%, 43%, 40%
% High -- 64%, 49%, 40%
% Low -- 11%, 8%, 20%
Average Daily Standard Deviation -- 64, 65, 62
Weight watchers has got it goin' on in terms of group support and accountability. When you're struggling, you can show your food log to your leader, and he/she will give you some pointers re: drinking more water, eating all your points, low point snacks, etc. Wouldn't it be cool if we could have group meetings like that....maybe something called "Glucose Watchers"? Fortunately, we have each other here in cyberspace, and for that I am very grateful.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Gentle Flow Logging
I've been at it again...logging my blood sugars, carbs and insulin doses for a second week in a row. This could be habit forming, at least I hope so. Had a major relapse of my cold, so my activity level was way off, but since I promised myself no judgements about the numbers, I continued to enter every number. This week showed a slight downward trend. Avg BG was 161, 43% in range, 49% high, and 8% low, with a standard deviation of 65. Still not ready to make any adjustments until I resume my normal exercise this week.
Speaking of exercise, I went to Gentle Flow Yoga class for the second time ever today. I'm still trying to figure out how twisting my legs up like a maimed pidgeon, posing as an insecure, trembling warrior, and sticking my butt up in the air to impersonate a dog can be considered gentle. I'm officially convinced that I must be the least flexible woman on the planet. The only other folks in the class who seem to struggle as much as me are the guys. I know it's not good to compare myself to others. Surely that is interrupting the gently flowing-zenlike-warrior-pidgeon-depressed-dog energy that I'm supposed to be generating. But sheesh, a girl needs something to do while taking breaks to avoid a full body cramp.
Speaking of exercise, I went to Gentle Flow Yoga class for the second time ever today. I'm still trying to figure out how twisting my legs up like a maimed pidgeon, posing as an insecure, trembling warrior, and sticking my butt up in the air to impersonate a dog can be considered gentle. I'm officially convinced that I must be the least flexible woman on the planet. The only other folks in the class who seem to struggle as much as me are the guys. I know it's not good to compare myself to others. Surely that is interrupting the gently flowing-zenlike-warrior-pidgeon-depressed-dog energy that I'm supposed to be generating. But sheesh, a girl needs something to do while taking breaks to avoid a full body cramp.
Monday, January 7, 2008
I Did It! I Logged for a Week!
Wow, I actually did it! I logged for a week. And I did it without any judgements about me based on my numbers. I was sick for much of the week (cold), and even though I knew that would probably make for a pretty lousy week blood sugar wise, I logged anyway! I'm going to gather another week of data (sans the cold) and then see about making some adjustments to my pump settings. Results for this week were: Overall average 171, 25% in range, 11% low, and 64% high. Weekend average, after I was mostly over my cold and back to a more normal activity level, was 135. Overnights seem to be the largest problem area for highs thus far. More next week.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
2008, Year of the Log
No, not hog, log! Not a Yule log, or another log on the fire, or a logarithm. You know the kind of log I'm talking about. Yes, I know it's kind of lame to do the new year's resolution thing, but I've got to start somewhere. So start yesterday I did.
Goal is to calmly log my bg, carbs, and insulin without judgement or stress. Just log them and that's it. No good or bad numbers, just numbers. Log now, analyze later. Just do it! And use whatever prayers and motivational slogans I can to get those numbers in that log. It's been a LONG time since I did this. I test regularly and bolus accordingly, but logging has eluded me like a greased pig! OK, so maybe this does have something to do with a hog afterall.
I have been dancing with denial. I have focused on exercise, but ignored the fact that my blood sugar swings have gotten worse, not better. I have focused on training for a half marathon, but gotten really sloppy with carb counts. Treating lows has gone from glucose tabs only to whatever I can chow down on and then some. I can see now that I have been trying to distract myself from focusing on the one thing that is probably most important health wise....proactive diabetes management. So here's to 2008, the year of the log!
Goal is to calmly log my bg, carbs, and insulin without judgement or stress. Just log them and that's it. No good or bad numbers, just numbers. Log now, analyze later. Just do it! And use whatever prayers and motivational slogans I can to get those numbers in that log. It's been a LONG time since I did this. I test regularly and bolus accordingly, but logging has eluded me like a greased pig! OK, so maybe this does have something to do with a hog afterall.
I have been dancing with denial. I have focused on exercise, but ignored the fact that my blood sugar swings have gotten worse, not better. I have focused on training for a half marathon, but gotten really sloppy with carb counts. Treating lows has gone from glucose tabs only to whatever I can chow down on and then some. I can see now that I have been trying to distract myself from focusing on the one thing that is probably most important health wise....proactive diabetes management. So here's to 2008, the year of the log!
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